Believe

Wiped out shut down 

Lost in my mind 

Move my body to feel anything but you

Sweat subsides

Lost time 

Circulating and repentant of what was never mine 

Circulating a past of a time long gone by

Fight for harmony in my mind

A place of push and pull

Refuse to close my heart, 

Open myself to love 

Disharmony will not win the place in my mind 

Belief is stronger then any past demise

Strength of heart, strength of mind, strength of heart 

Believe I hear her say, 

Believe and you are halfway there

Don’t give up the fight

Stars in my eyes, hope catches me

Clouds of dragons in the night sky 

Clouds of fear fading 

Loving kindness supports me

Shimmering dreams of purest joy 

Lightness of heart 

Refusing to give up

Not tonight, not today, not ever

© All words written by Evelyn M Wayde

Temptress

Photo by John Rocha on Pexels.com

Love to another or love of self 

The depths of heartache remain the same

Fear of darkness of what’s yours and mine 

Kindness of heart requited 

All but in vain 

Temptress lures all 

Comforted art of seduction 

Sweetness of a mother 

Caregiver inside her 

Tainted opinions of others 

Scared who will see her light

Depicted by what was 

Faith in the unseen 

Soul screeches underlined 

Forewarned teased and broken shackles

© All words written by Evelyn M Wayde 2022

Language of Love

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Soft touch of her fingers interlaced with tender sweeping tickles

Relaxed are my arms gently rested not limp

The smell of her skin kissed with sweet perfume

Darling gazes with subtle sweeping green eyes

Drifting slumber held warmth of hers and mine.

Part 1

© All words written by Evelyn M Wayde 2022

Daybreak

Distance it grows closer

Witnessed in years of comfort

Lonely speaks her name

Whispering promises no more

Silent sounds of freedom

A birdsong likened to an echo,

Ricocheting from a heart stretched

Fibres of her bones once grounded in sorrow

Now founded in love, as she walks alone

The sweetness of joy beckons

Daybreaks assured unfolding strength and kindness

© All Words Written by Evelyn M Wayde 2021

Mental Health, Memory & Trauma

Do you ever find yourself caught in feelings from the past? Why is it we get stuck in these memory loops? Could complex trauma be reversed if we could choose new thoughts feelings and beliefs? I say yes and here’s why.

Let’s start with how we recall memories. We store and recall memories in bite size snippets or moments. We don’t actually recall memories in whole days. This I find super interesting in itself.

So each day when we wake up whatever thoughts beliefs and emotions were dominant from our childhood or our past. These will be our dominant thoughts emotions and beliefs throughout the day. Now any moments connected to those thoughts beliefs and emotions are the snippets we will recall over and over.

Each day we’re remembering things from the past, if those snippets of memories are filled with negative emotions thoughts beliefs and experiences we are actually subconsciously wiring our brain to expect and to experience more of the same negative thoughts beliefs and emotions.

When we recall negative thoughts beliefs and emotions what effect does it have on our body? When we recall these memories it not only puts our body back in the moment from the past, it is programming our body to feel and expect more of the same.

This is trauma being relieved over and over, without us realising we have the ability to choose something different. While we get stuck in these feelings from the past it beings to program our bodies for sickness illness and disease. Because let’s face it who wouldn’t feel sick being stuck in negative thoughts feelings and beliefs all day for months and years at a time?!

I believe strongly a major contributing factor to mental illness is caused by this process of recalling memories, because whatever was our dominant thought feeling or belief from the day before is how we will subconsciously choose to feel today.

Mental health and mental wellness is real, but so much of it is within our control to change it. Choosing new thoughts beliefs and emotions helps to rewire our brain and what we are to experience and expect each day. Meditation and sleep allows our brain and body to begin to have a break from our current reality giving us time to break momentum from going back into the past.

From my own experience of lived depression anxiety and suicidal ideation, although I am still unpacking trauma and things from the past, I have had the opportunity to do work on rewiring my brain. What used to be my brains go to is no longer the dominant program each day and the thing that has primarily helped me to shift myself out of these memory loops has been through beginning a daily practice of meditation.

If you have never tried meditation, to start the process of rewiring your brain, you can start with as little as five minutes a day. It’s not about not thinking, but rather allowing thoughts to be there without trying to change them. Each time you find yourself getting lost in thoughts come back to your breath. Who knows over time you may find yourself choosing new thoughts feelings and beliefs.

With love Evelyn x

How do we Reduce Symptoms of Anxiety

Returning to our everyday lives and ways of interacting will not be the same. Freedom to roam is within our grasp and in time curfews and lockdowns will be a distant memory.

With this new found freedom knocking at our doors many of us may be feeling less than excited to return to a new way of living. Many of you may in fact be experiencing feelings of anxiety. 

I am sure most of not all of us have experienced some form of anxiety in the past year. Now life is going back to ‘normal’ you may find instead of feeling at ease you might be feeling more anxious than before. Know these feelings of apprehension and anxiety are perfectly normal coming out the other side of a year in lockdowns. 

Here are just some examples of things we can do to help to decrease symptoms and feelings of anxiety in our body. 

Any form of body practice takes us out of our thoughts and brings us into our bodies and back into the present moment. It is virtually impossible for us to be physically active or focused on our breath at the same time as feeling anxious. 

Some great ways to get us out of our heads is through any form of exercise, gentle stretching, Yoga, or breath work. Breath work is very simple, but also so powerful. Box breathing can take us out of an anxious state in a few minutes. Assisting to activate our parasympathetic nervous system getting us back into our bodies and into a state of calm.

When anxiousness is a persistent state in our body this is what’s referred a sympathetic dominance. While we remain in this state for long periods of time it can become our natural state of being. Meaning unless we are doing things to counteract this physiological response this may end up being our bodies go to resting state.

Here are some more examples of what we can do to alleviate stress and anxiety in the body.

Body Scan Perform a full body scan, you can do this simply by focusing all your attention towards your body. Close your eyes if you can, taking a few deep breaths and starting at your toes, slowly moving your focus up through your whole body. Become aware of any sensations emotions or thoughts that may come up. Journalling after this practice and assist us in processing any emotions that may have come up.

Box Breathing Breath in for a count of 4 hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4. Do this for 6 rounds and notice the calming effect that follows.

Connecting with Nature Taking walks in nature or just sitting in amongst some tress or a forest can bring our body back into a state of homeostasis. Placing our focus on a plant or tree can bring us a sense of calm. Nature takes us away from the busyness of our daily lives and gives us a break from constantly thinking and doing.

When we can incorporate some of these types of activities and practices into our lives things often become more manageable and anxiety no longer takes over. I hope this article is helpful in some way.

© All Words Written By Evelyn M Wayde